RANDOM

This is a random blog because my mind is completely scattered today.
This week has not been one of the best times in my life but luckily, I have a great family to support me. I have met a considerable amount of new people in our neighborhood. There is one woman whom is eighty-one years old, lives alone, and still manages to take care of flowers, bamboo tree, aloe vera plants etc… I have been very blessed to meet her and learn about her past. Her daughter passed away at eleven- years old and her soon about a year ago. She was explaining a fire pit that her father built on the farm and how she roasts marshmallows during the summer and asked us to join. As she explained this, I thought about the times when I was a kid and our family would go camping to Grand Lake. Of course, our camping trip was a little too pampered with a TV, VCR and a fan. My sister and I would spend quality time together watching The Parent Trap, laughing all night, and reciting the movie repeatedly. I think about the past a lot and wonder what it would be like to go back into time and re do a few things to improve. I think as a teenager I treated my mom disrespectful but I know by taking care of her when she was sick helped make up for it. I think about girls and their behaviors towards their parents and I would like to tell them you eventually might regret it. Although, it takes a mature person to accept different perspectives in others lives. It has also been a year since my mother passed away and of course, I had these vivid memories in my head. I walked to the cemetery and had the smell of bedsores and could hear the respirator working and then just hum... It was the worst feeling ever. I have not spoken to my mom in almost three years nor have I seen her face/body/expressions in a year. Paisly goes with me to visit and always says “hi nana” and kisses her mausoleum and it breaks my heart because my mom would love to be here with her but I know that she is in a much better place living eternal life with Jesus Christ. This is all a plan that I have not figured out I am just following it and trusting with everything.