MAMA MOMMY

As the year pass I ponder over the relationships built spiritually, family, boyfriend and my daughter. I realize how much I have grown up through the years. During high school, I was a cheerleader and I enjoyed the long nights out with friends and gossip. I realize how much of a difference I have changed through out the past three years with my mother being sick. I am twenty-one years old with an eighteen-month-old daughter whom I adore everyday. I think back to the care, love and support my father and mother gave me, which pushes me to be a better person. My parents never gave up on me even when they were driving through Joplin to figure out where I had gone. My mother was rather strict although I completely understand WHY and HOW stupid I had been. My father is rather quiet but he is respectful and trustworthy towards my family and kept us together over the past twenty years and more to come. Once the doctor diagnosed my mother with ALS, I slowly pushed myself away from God. I was very angry towards my loved ones and did not have the patience to cope with this illness. After going to Forest Park, I have realized my reactions were ridiculous and how I needed to trust in God more. I am still with my daughter’s father whom I love with all my heart, which like every couple we have our differences and our spats. I know that after a long day I have him to help me snap out of any mood, relax and just talk. My daughter is the one that helps me feel even more appreciative because of the way she needs me to help her in every necessity. I love the feeling of her waking up next to me and trusting that I will not leave her. I am sure you are thinking “HER DAUGHTER STILL SLEEPS WITH HER?” Yes. Yes. I am a very attached to my daughter because of my mother’s death and I will nurture here until it is time to let her go. It brings me to a funny situation the past couple days. Last night I got her ready for bed and told her it was time to go potty and like a big girl, she went in there and went pee so I did a potty dance of course. I felt on top of the world and she though it was the funniest thing and danced around the bathroom clapping saying “bye bye pee pee”. She then woke up with the same intentions...POTTY. Although she is still young, I hope this attraction to the potty continues. I have my “mommy” weeks where I think about my mother and continue to follow by example. Since my mother’s birthday and almost a year since she has passed my sister and I decided to decorate her mausoleum with some fun Spring colors… I hope that it looks as good as we plan. I also want to thank God for everything he has done in my life and I will follow him until I meet him face to face! AMEN.